I’m pretty weird. I’m very sarcastic. I tend to care too much about some things and not enough about others. I’m often “too nice”, .. but not quite a doormat. I’m passive-aggressive; mostly just in the way I avoid confrontation. Quiet by default. I have a loud, obnoxious side but many people don’t get to see it. I am most definitely not like “your typical girl”; in fact, I am often embarrassed to be included in my gender. I’m very socially awkward. A big handicap of mine is that I can’t connect and relate with people very well, and as a result, I don’t really have a lot of friends. I stand apart from most. On one hand, I like it that way — I’ve grown to accept “being different” (and people suck anyways); but on the other .. I realize the seclusion it creates. I’m trying to find a happy median. A calm balance. It’s been an bumpy ride.
 


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There’s a reason why I appear standoffish and distant, a reason why I don’t like being touched, a reason for my many insecurities, a reason for my constant scrutiny and over-analyzing; and wherein lies the reason why I cannot trust easily, nor blindly, nor fully. There’s a reason for my dysfunction; there are several. I haven’t had an easy life. But I’d rather perplex others with these commodities than indulge them in the less-than-pleasing “whys”. There are these reasons of course, for “how I am”, but they do not adequately delineate me.

Furthermore, .. I’m multi-faceted. I’m eccentric and complex, but not complicated. Persnickety but not picky. Tolerant but not patient. An open book that prefers to reside in privacy. I’m a lazy perfectionist, a unique drone, and a loud introvert. I tend to be rather oxymoronic, as you may see, but I like it that way. Just pay attention to the intricate details and I’ll like you.

I acquired the nickname “Jenigma” some while back and have since then donned it a persona. I’m a very “gray” person. I’m ridiculously indecisive. I focus on technicalities and argue semantics; and at the drop of a hat, I can turn apathetic.

Being around people tends to make me anxious, and most social interactions subsequently merit my retreat. But if it seems as though I’m unapproachable, you are mistaken — I’m actually quite friendly if you can see past my social awkwardness. Call me shy, but I’ll probably argue that I’m “reserved”. ;]

I love cats. I love the color green, but only if it’s the “right” hue. I love big words. I love aesthetically-pleasing things. I love a lot, but dislike more. I could ramble on and on with random facts and insight to “who I am”, but I’d rather leave you with the simple notion that I’m a person and not a paragraph. You can get to know me or assume; it’s your call, but I’d appreciate the former.